Brief Summary of My Life – Posted from Antipolo, Rizal, Philippines February 17, 2025

Reference in The Canadian Encyclopedia https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/jearld-moldenhauer by Ron Levy – September, 2024

William Blake (Nov. 28, 1757 – August 12, 1827)

“A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.”

”The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing that stands in the way. Some see nature all ridicule and deformity…and some scarce see nature at all. But to the eyes of the man of imagination, nature is imagination itself.”

Levels and layers. – Is reality the same for everyone and every creature? Of course not. For sure there are endless levels or layers to what we, trapped in our limited consciousness and the parameters of our sense organs call “reality”. Only a few people are tuned in to and capable of perceiving “realities” closer to what I‘ll call the „core“. Obviously our language is the vehicle whereby we describe perception and experience. Close to 100% of the terminology operates on such a superficial level that it nurtures the negation of anything deeper . People who exist on this level (programmed a bit differently in each culture and language) can never understand those operating on a deeper level. And of course it’s frustrating and usually pretty boring for those capable of something more than “small talk” to attempt genuine conversation with most people around us. It’s not so much that they don’t have the feelings and thoughts of a more intellectual nature, it’s more that they suppress them, are afraid of them, and lack the vocabulary to articulate them.

Other basic information about my life:

1.) Current primary activities: botanical pursuits, photography, learning about Philippine and other Asian cultures, attend classes for 1-2 hours daily on You Tube and also use Google searches and Wikipedia to learn many things that were censored or edited out of mainstream media and/or “education”, trying to stay healthy and in relatively good shape for someone my age! As for reading and watching videos, among others still living, I follow a few gay writers such as Stephen Fry, Yuval Noah Harari, Douglas Murray, & Edmund White as well as film director Pedro Almodovar.

Unfortunately I pay too much attention to international news. Events over which there is no control. My own life – having lived in different countries and travelling to many has educated and sensitised me to much of what is happening. From the geological events on Santorini, to the major conflicts between the Ukraine and Russia and between Israel and Gaza. To the protests in Slovakia and the political upheavals elsewhere —in Europe, Africa and Asia. Meanwhile the Trumpian government’s chaotic reign threatens pretty well everything with it’s mindless, hollow bullying war cry, “Make America Great Again”. On the internet one has the opportunity to see, hear and read about everything from any number of perspectives that previously were shut out. That alone has changed so much of the narrative we’ve been programmed to identify with. The old dichotomy between left and right seems far more complicated than we were schooled into adhering to.

2.) Countries I’ve Lived In: USA, Canada, Morocco, the Philippines.

3.) Countries I’ve visited: Afghanistan, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Bulgaria, Canada, Cambodia, Colombia, Costa Rica, Cuba, Czechia, Denmark, Deutschland, Egypt, El Salvador, Espana, France, Greece, Guatemala, Holland, Honduras, Hungary, India, Indonesia, Iran, Israel, Italy,Jordan, Kenya, Lebanon, Luxembourg, Malaysia, Mexico, Morocco, Nepal, Nicaragua , Pakistan, Panama, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Singapore, Slovakia, Syria, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Tanzania, Thailand, Tunisia, Tuerkiye, United Kingdom, United States, Venezuela, Viet Nam. I also visited the former “Yugoslavia” a few times (North Macedonia and Serbia).

4.) Major Events of the Past Decade: The house I co-owned in Canada was sold in 2017. Until 2022 I lived at Dar Balmira (Falcon House) in the Medina of Fez, Morocco. My travels in Southeast Asia began in 2018. In 2022 I attempted to initiate a small nature reserve by offering to help fund and support the Philippine Eagle Foundation in Mindanao. Rejected, no clear reason offered. Only one I can think of.

In 2023 I met Melvin Disono in Manila and our unconventional relationship began. Age wise, we are 50 years apart. From my experience and observations, such inter-generational relationships are not at all uncommon in several Asian cultures. Mostly based on mutual carrying – looking after each other.

We purchased land on a river in the mountainous jungle of eastern Rizal in late 2023. Most of 2024 was spent developing the land. My efforts were directed entirely to establishing four gardens. Things were going well until two typhoons (in July and September 2024) triggered powerful flash floods that pretty much destroyed everything I had achieved. Presently in a holding pattern to see what the government will do about the access road that was washed away. And also to alter the course of the river to prevent future catastrophic events. There are a few photo galleries on this website that give you an idea what was achieved before the flash floods hit.

I am currently growing an ever increasing number of plants on the balcony of our house. Here are a few photos of particular flowers that I grow & collect. Hibiscus (in Tagalog: gumamela), also Passiflora, and a Yellow Alamanda. Hibiscus are shubs, some are natural species but many of the ones with large showy flowers are hybrids produced here in the Philippines. Passiflora and Alamanda are vines with most species native to tropical regions of Central and South America.

Here in the tropics plants grow much faster than they do in a temperate climate. That means that a careful observer can see actual changes from day to day. At different “speeds” of course. I am especially enamoured of vines because many of them grow several centimetres in a day. And of course many have organs to grab on as they direct their growth according to light and what is available for them to attach to. Something I find weird is how people have so many beautiful plants, but do little to take care of them. One sees countless specimens and species suffering because of neglect. There seems to be this assumption that some force (a god? Mary? priestly propaganda?) looks after everything. If only they could go back to their indigenous roots with an honest and deeper relationship to nature! Alas, Magellan was killed by a native named Lapu-Lapu, but he planted the curse of Catholicism in his wake. The disturbing question that I am not so sure I know the entire answer to, is why it took hold and grew into such grotesque manifestations. I assume the ego’s craving for immortality. The greatest of all lies.

Hibiscus – In Tagalog – Gumamela

Passiflora

5.) Lifelong Major Interests:

Nature – (especially botany, entomology, and ornithology). Gardening became an important part of my life in Canada at the 32 Beaty Avenue house and also at Dar Balmira, my house inside the ancient Medina of Fez. In Canada and in Morocco I raised many species of parrot, as well as toucans, finches and exotic pigeons. In Morocco I raised and released falcons (usually purchased from small boys who stole young birds from the nest), and cared for two species of eagle (both injured by local farmers).

For more than 30 years I enjoyed dozens of canoe/camping trips in the Provincial Parks of Ontario with my canoe/nature photographer partner, Philip Atkinson. A truly talented, refined artist for landscape and close-ups of birds and other creatures. After serving as a witness before the Supreme Court of B.C. in the censorship case – Little Sisters Bookstore vs Her Majesty’s Dept. of Customs & Revenue – I flew north to spend several days exploring the Haida Gwaii archipelago.

In Jordan, Egypt, & Tunisia I travelled extensively in the desert regions, including Wadi Rum (Jordan) and Siwa oasis (Egypt). Living many years in Morocco, I explored most of the country (except the extreme south) by motor scooter, totalling thousands of kilometres, especially in the four mountain ranges (the Rif, Middle Atlas, High Atlas, and Anti-Atlas). South of the Sahara I explored Kenya and Tanzania (including Zanzibar), taking about ten “safaris” inside National Parks. In Kenya, with my tent and porters to carry supplies, I climbed Mt.Kenya.

Highlights of Central & South America include: excursions to the Cascadas de Agua Azul (Mexico), Parque Nacional Rincon de la Vieja, Monteverde Cloud Forest, Parque Nacional Corcovado (Costa Rica), Isla Ometepe (Nicaragua), Nacional Soberania (Panama), Parqu Nacional Canaima (Salto Angel), Mt. Roraima (Venezuela), Amazon River – Manaus to Santarem by ferry, Las Cataratas del Iguazu (Brazil).

Back in the mid 1970’s a friend and I did the trek from Pokara, Nepal toward the base camp of Mt. Annapurna. After 3 or 4 days of walking we met a boy from Scandanavia who was returning from the camp. We were all told by the authorities who issue permits to trekkers, that the base camp was open. The young man informed us that it was completely shut down and he had spent the night outside in the rain, with no shelter. To make matters worse, he said that leeches were all over his body, including his genitals. So of course we turned back, even though we were within a day’s trek of the camp. Still, it certainly was a very unique 6-7 days, climbing up and down muddy leech infested mountains with their stunningly beautiful rhododendron trees.

During my more recent travels in Southeast Asia I have managed to visit Halong Bay in Vietnam, Bali and Komodo Island in Indonesia, Bako National Park and Semenggoh Wildlife Centre (an Orangutan refuge) in Borneo, Malaysia.

Ancient History & Archeology

Altogether I have visited and photographed a few hundred archeological sites & museums. My particular interests are more concentrated on the civilizations of the Middle East (including Egypt) and the Mediterranean basin before the three Ibrahimic religions came to dominate how we view and experience our relationship with our bodies and with nature. My reading preferences always return to Greek & Roman classical literature. Special mention also goes to the giant Buddha’s at Bamiyan, Afghanistan and the ruins of Roman Palmyra in Syria, both of which I visited before they were destroyed by crazy Islamists.

Sexuality

As a founder both in the USA and Canada of what originally was called the “gay liberation movement, thinking about and analyzing the sexuality of Homo sapiens has been a major intellectual subject of my life, always informed as much as possible by legitimate science.. Naturally I draw upon my personal experiences, adventures too countless to ever count, not in just the countries I’ve lived in, but in almost all of the countries I’ve visited . My brief encounters probably number in the thousands (with males of all ages from after puberty onwards) and I have both enjoyed and suffered through some 7-8 long term relationships.

I have my own theories about human sexuality that mostly run counter to the accepted ideas. Yes, I’ve read some of the literature in various scientific fields, as well as the important works of gay history. It’s worth remembering and stating that gay history, including biography essentially did not exist – was intentionally censored by scholarship of academia until gay people started writing and a few publishers embraced the new literature. A few honest references survived in memoirs, journals and autobiographies, but even those were often destroyed by family members. We are left to speculate what Greek & Roman references were lost or destroyed by religious zealots. To be sure, any rather explicit writings would definitely be targeted for the fire, leaving only a few paintings & delightful bits of graffiti, (often chiseled into stone) to go by.

As my own story goes, I started Glad Day Bookshop because Canadian distributors of mainstream American and British publishing houses with the emerging new gay literature did little or nothing to promote them, despite being included in their contractual agreements. Even 3 or 4 years after I started selling gay books, no sales reps contacted me when their catalogs of new titles came out. The absolute clearest statement of prejudice came from the Canadian Booksellers Association after Brian Mulroney’s government put “The Joy of Gay Sex” on their list of banned books. The Executive Director of that organization (to which Glad Day belonged) refused to support our court challenge against the Federal government (and, haha, Her Majesty).

Important personally for my own identity and developing philosophy were Greek & Roman writers, especially of course “Symposium” by Plato. Non-fiction reading began at age 13-14 with the American transcendentalists, Ralph Waldo Emerson & Henry David Thoreau. At Cornell and after I read Andre Gide, Freud, Herbert Marcuse, Norman O. Brown, Alfred Kinsey, Donald W. Cory, Wainwright Churchill, R.D. Laing, Vern Bullough, and Louis Crompton. William Blake’s writings are liberating on a level all their own. It seems to me that the serious scientific research has, time and again, been thwarted by the reactionary and religious forces in society.

Music

For most of my adult life (starting about age 14), I obsessively explored western classical music, as well as older musical traditions of other cultures, especially those I visited. I’m not exactly sure how that started, probably a combination of collecting old 78rpm discs that fit my close to zero budget, along with my German language teacher who played bits of Wagner and Beethoven in class as part of the introduction to German culture. I chose my own high school graduation present, a 6 disc LP box set of “Die Götterdammerung” with Kirsten Flagstad as Brunnhilde.

For a few years I showed some interest in the folk and blues music of the USA, but my intellectual and emotional life was far more enriched by many composers whose works I explored and endlessly listened to. Basically I have always been repulsed by the popular music of all cultures. As a few people might remember, classical music was always on at the Glad Day Bookshop I was working in.

Naturally, the complete works of Johann Sebastian Bach occupied a place no other composer could ever achieve. Those “others” include Schütz, Telemann, Monteverdi, Vivaldi, Puccini, Berlioz, Wagner, Richard Strauss, Janacek, Weill, Britten and Orff, all geniuses in their own right. Special mention also goes to Anton Bruckner whose symphonies and choral music occupied another unique sphere in my intellectual & emotional life. For many years I listened to one of his symphonies, usually the 7th, 8th or 9th, before embarking upon a voyage to a culture and topography new to me. As well during the 1980’s and 1990’s I explored the music of many neglected baroque composers, made possible by the collaboration between certain specialized recording companies and European orchestras dedicated to performing neglected masterpieces of that era.

At Cornell I was fortunate enough to take two classes with Donald J. Grout (Sept. 28, 1902 – March 9, 1987), probably the foremost musicologist in America during the 1960’s and ‘70’s. Like many of my generation I followed the careers of various conductors, opera singers and solo instrumentalists. During the ‘70’s and 80’s I made a point of trying to see live productions of operas. Mostly in Europe and at the Met in New York where often I would stand in line to buy or be given free tickets from people unable to attend. For some reason (bad luck?) I had several friendships and a few relationships with the gayest group of musicians: church organists!

Over the years I inadvertently managed a number of ‘incidents’ and encounters with musical performers. I’m including a few that I can recall. And a special incident at the Canadian National Opera.

During my last year at Cornell my roommates happened to be friends with the French soprano Regine Crespin, famous for her many operatic roles, as well as Berlioz‘s song cycle Les nuits d’été . On one occasion in 1968, we all spent an evening drinking together at the Stonewall Inn. At the 1970 Edinburgh Festival in I had the honour of crashing into Bernard Haitink while crossing the street and a few days later I recall Dietrich Fisher-Dieskau ordering me out of his rehearsal room. The highlight of my visit to the Festival was the opportunity to see four operas by Leos Janacek. Janacek’s works were just beginning to be performed by Western European and American orchestras and opera houses. A few months earlier I had visited Janacek’s house in Brno, at that time a Czech city off the beaten path. As a solo backpacker with some knowledge of Janacek’s music I was surprised to be invited to overnight in the house. A year or two later in Berlin state Opera I found myself sitting next to Jessye Norman in the cheapest balcony seats for a performance „Die Walküre“. We chatted together, both being Americans. She was there to learn the roles of Sieglinde and Brünnhilde.

In Toronto around 1974 I attended a Canadian National Opera another performance of “Die Walküre”. With me was my partner at the time. A couple of young male ushers saw us holding hands and attacked, viciously beating me. I assume because I was a few years older than my partner. Horrified and disheveled I dragged myself into the theatre’s office to report the incident to the manager. His response was equally shocking. He said absolutely nothing. I remember thinking “Is this Canada? What other country could this happen in?” The same thought that crossed my mind when I was fired from the University of Toronto for founding the gay student organisation.

The last concert I attended was in Leipzig around 2013. A performance of Bach Cantatas in the Thomas Kirche, conducted by Nicolas Harnoncourt (Dec. 6, 1929 – March 5, 2016).

A year or so later my hearing deteriorated and I have never been able to seriously enjoy music ever since.